I don’t know if you’re all aware of this or not, but we’ve officially met our quota on celebrities making it on the local evening news.  They’re telling us we can’t have any more craziness happen in our town for at least six months.  I know everyone’s dying to have their fifteen minutes of fame, but they said it costs too much to drive all the way out here from St. Louis what with the high gasoline prices and all.

I suppose the man-hunt for Mike Murphy started it all off back in April.  For several days the town made the local news because he shot his girlfriend and successfully hid in the woods for a few days.  He was caught.

Then in May, there was the whole controversy with the bisexual pastor at the St. John United Church of Christ and the local Baptist churches not wanting to play softball against a church who hired an openly gay individual as their leader.  Regardless of which side of that battle you’re on… it was another negative TV news story about people from St. Clair.  Seriously… who called the TV stations on that one?

This past week two negative marks on St. Clair hit the airwaves… The anti-government, anti-police fella, Jeffery R. Weinhaus, allegedly pulls a gun on some Highway Patrolmen at the MFA “little store” off of Hwy K and gets shot AND former fire chief, Eric Hinson, is accused of “irregularities in the financials of the fire district”.   At least we’re thinking of the TV reporter’s valuable time and trying to combine our craziness into one week so that they won’t waste a trip!

Seriously people… cut it out!  The only shootings that should take place in St. Clair are at deer during the appropriate season a couple of months from now.  Not at each other!  Not at the police!  There’s nothing that tragic that’s happening in your life that requires a gun in your hand shooting another person.  If you’re currently stealing from someone else or thinking about it… stop it!  Be a hard-working, honest citizen and do the right thing!  If you have a beef with the government, your employer, your spouse, or another church… fix it!  (And not with a gun or a softball bat!)  One more thing, if you are cooking meth right now in your kitchen or basement and you’re taking a smoke break to read this blog… turn the burner off, gather all of that crap up, and destroy it.  We don’t want that junk in our town anymore and we certainly don’t want any more TV news stories about your lab blowing up!  STOP IT!

Folks, if we want our town to grow and prosper we’ve gotta get the crazy out!  Talk to your neighbors and friends to make sure everything is alright in their life and care a little about them.  Socialize and get to know them.  Try to help cut this insane trend off at the pass.  I suppose we could also check the water to make sure something’s not in it causing all of this.  You know, some sort of “lose-you-mind” bacteria.

So are we clear?  Stop it!  No more TV news stories unless it’s positive.  Everybody chill out, get along, and quit doing stupid stuff.  Any questions?